


Terrible Soulmate-Finding Advice

by idiotwithacatpen



Series: Fair Game Week Soulmate Aus [7]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, if you throw something on the full moon it lands on your soulmate, this is surprisingly not late, you're all going to HATE the narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23270548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotwithacatpen/pseuds/idiotwithacatpen
Summary: In Remnant, when you throw something you love on the full moon, it lands on your soulmate. These days, people throw their Scrolls, mostly for the personal information and the fact that everyone loves them. The more romantic people will attach a note to something of theirs that they treasure when they throw it.Qrow threw his sword, because of course he would.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Series: Fair Game Week Soulmate Aus [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666321
Comments: 35
Kudos: 169





	Terrible Soulmate-Finding Advice

Look, I wasn’t there, but I’m pretty sure this was how it went.

A pack of Beowolves, not large by any standards but still a problem for an undefended town, loped through the night, blending in mostly because the darkness of the night agreed with their edgy aesthetic. Except for the eyes. The sky will occasionally be red or yellow or sometimes both, but it certainly never looks like that at night. And hey, if I’m wrong, there’s still the fact that the Grimm have a particular kind of hungry madness to their eyes that the sky would never have.

Normally, their destination was very, very well protected, as Huntsman academies tend to be. But now, because a certain backstabbing little- a certain Leonardo Lionheart was a little too dead to invite his students back from their early vacation, it was undefended.

Oh, unless you counted the one Huntsman and his eight children that should’ve been Huntsmen already, not to mention the giant Faunus militia. But that’s none of my business. Mostly because they were sleeping.

...I take that back. There was one person who wasn’t sleeping. Anyone want to take a guess? 

Qrow Branwen happened to be patrolling the area around the school for reasons unknown, his eight children nowhere in sight. Maybe that’s why the Grimm showed up. His emotional baggage and angst alone could get him a pet Wyvern to follow him around. Poor guy. He radiates negative emotion like any school in Remnant on Valentine’s Day. Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s true.

Right. Back to the story.

No one knows why he was patrolling so late, or why he was awake in the first place. Personally, I’d be reading fanfiction, but Qrow isn’t the type for that. Anyway, he saw the Beowolves heading towards Haven, so he did the logical thing. He killed them all.

( _Why would you tell me about the Beowolves if he just kills them all_ , you whine. I’m getting there.)

The last one turned to flee after he decimated its packmates, but Qrow wasn’t going to let it get away. He threw Harbinger with precise aim that you can only get from chucking your sword around way too much to be healthy. Sword-throwing is hard. I would know.

Qrow’s aim was and still is perfect when it comes to throwing swords, when Harbinger didn’t land, he was surprised, if only for a second. As the Beowolf vanished into the darkness, he ran over to where his weapon was supposed to be.

It was nowhere to be found among the bushes and trees, and there was no way the Beowolf could have taken the massive sword with it. So where was it?

Once he was sure Harbinger was nowhere to be found, he knew immediately. Qrow turned to look up at the full moon (or as full as a shattered moon can be) and sighed.

In Remnant, when you throw something you love on the full moon, it lands on your soulmate. These days, people throw their Scrolls, mostly for the personal information and the fact that everyone loves them. The more romantic people will attach a note to something of theirs that they treasure when they throw it.

Qrow threw his sword, because of course he would.

This new development created several issues. First of all, the Beowolf could still return to attack, and while Qrow was well-versed in hand-to-hand, nothing he did could kill the Beowolf if it returned. Second, they had a long trip ahead of them that would likely become even longer thanks to his luck, and he’d managed to lose his sword.

The next day, they had to get Qrow a new sword. It was nowhere near as cool as Harbinger, but it would get him to Atlas. That’s saying something, considering the long, long journey to get there.

(When presented with the same problem, some people used an airship.)

Imagine if his soulmate had been in Vacuo or Vale. That could have been bad. Maybe it was lucky that his soulmate was in Atlas.

You all know who his soulmate was, (and is) but I’m still going to tell you about him.

-

Unlike the last part, which was written thanks to one Qrow Branwen and a human lie detector, this one is courtesy of two anonymous Ace Ops and one info broker who happens to be a friend of mine. So just in case you try to tell me that I shouldn’t know this much… most of it was legal.

With that out of the way, here’s Clover’s story.

Clover had been enjoying a day of sparring with the Ace Ops, preparing for their next mission. They were, of course, ignoring the many things they could be doing to help out in Mantle, as Atlesians tend to do. At least the Happy Huntresses exist, I suppose.

He and Harriet were running on the last vestiges of their Auras as they ducked and dodged and attacked over and over again. Every time Harriet tried to land a punch, Clover would loop Kingfisher around her arm. She would use her speed, and he would just swing away. It had been a long twenty minutes of the other three Ace Ops being bored when Clover swung a horseshoe-reinforced punch at his vulnerable teammate.

According to my three witnesses, he should have won. But as his fist neared Harriet and she tried to abruptly stop and dodge, a giant sword appeared out of nowhere and slammed into him.

The impact of the sword drove him into the wall, his Aura completely shattering as he and the sword fell to the ground, a well-placed Kingfisher the only thing protecting him from the blade. Harriet stopped mid-step, blinking in surprise.

“What?” Clover muttered once he got his thoughts in order, pushing the sword away from him. The other Ace Ops didn’t have an answer, being the helpful friends- sorry, _coworkers_ \- that they were, so he had to figure it out himself. “Is it a full moon?”

Unlike me, the Ace Ops actually went outside often, so Marrow was able to answer him with a quick nod. I’m told his tail might have started wagging, but we don’t talk about that.

At that moment, Winter had been passing by when she heard the crash. She stopped in the hallway and entered the training room, her eyes landing on the massive sword.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she snapped when she recognized it, drawing the attention of the Ace Ops. “I don’t get paid enough for this.”

Clover stood with a groan, picking up the sword. He almost dropped it as he lifted it off the ground. Harbinger was heavier than Timber, and he’d had no way of anticipating it. “For what, Winter?”

“For dealing with the owner of that sword,” Winter replied, gesturing to Harbinger. “Where is he?”

Harriet didn’t even bother suppressing her smirk. “He?” She held her hand out to Marrow as if expecting a high-five.

He didn’t high-five her, but he _did_ hand over his entire wallet. Poor Marrow, losing all of that from one bet. In this economy, he’ll never get it back.

“You don’t know?” Winter took a second to process, the gears in her brain spinning. “No. Which one of you did that land on?”

Everyone turned to Clover, who was already raising his hand as if he was in a kindergarten classroom. 

“You poor, poor soul,” Winter whispered, turning to leave.

She nearly ran into the man, the myth, the legend, the complete and total future asshat, General James Ironwood. He had presumably been drawn to the room by the combined sound of Winter’s loud complaints and one of his Ace Operatives almost being turned into a shish kebab.

“What’s going on?” Ironwood asked, sending a glance to the Ace Ops in the room beyond. “Did one of you make that crashing noise?”

Clover nodded. “It was technically this sword, but...” As if no one could tell what he was referring to, he lifted up Harbinger (a massive effort) and held it out to the General.

Ironwood’s eyes widened until he looked like an anime character as he stepped towards Clover. “Is he here?”

“Is anyone going to tell us who _he_ is?” Marrow muttered.

Winter ignored the Ace Op to tell Ironwood, “No, I’m afraid it’s worse than that. Harbinger appeared out of thin air and hit Clover while he was sparring.”

General Ironwood and his pea-sized brain took even longer than Winter to figure it out. “You’re his soulmate?”

“I guess so,” Clover shrugged. “But like Marrow said, are you going to tell us who that is?”

“Have you ever heard of Qrow Branwen?”

Harriet frowned and turned to Winter. “Isn’t that the guy who was about to kick your ass during the Vytal Festival a while back?”

“That was definitely a draw,” Winter retorted, taking a step forward. A warning glance from Ironwood held her back. “But if you’re referring to the drunk Huntsman who tore up a courtyard, then yes, that was him.”

“You attacked first, if I remember correctly,” Harriet said, smirking at Winter with a level of sass that only she could achieve. Those seven words, especially the first three, nearly ended both of their lives.

Ignoring the two Huntresses trying to kill each other with their eyes behind him, General Ironwood pulled out his Scroll. “I’m going to see if he’s nearby,” he explained.

“And if he’s not?” Vine asked. 

“Then it won’t go through, I suppose,” Ironwood replied. He sent his message, proving once and for all that he did, in fact, know where the send button was.

There was no response, as all of them expected. None of them saw Clover slump in disappointment, but if they had, none of them would have blamed him. He’d been looking forward to meeting his soulmate for a long, long time. And it seemed he’d have to wait for a little longer.

-

As the red-eyed Huntsman and his many children (including a bonus child!) left the office, they happened upon the Ace Ops.

In the time that it had taken for Qrow to get to Atlas, Clover had learned plenty about him. Learning about his skill with a scythe was impressive enough, even if it had been a grudging story from Winter. Meeting his soulmate for the first (well, second) time was a different story.

Clover’s jaw literally dropped, a fact which has been verified by at least ten eyewitnesses. He entered a state of what many people know as gay panic for about three seconds before he cleared his throat and managed to return to reality. “I’d like to sincerely apologize for the miscommunication back in Mantle. We didn’t intend to-”

Elm pushed by him to shake Ruby’s hand, and it all descended into chaos after that. After some very, very awkward half-introductions, Clover was able to get them to stop.

“We just wanted to say we're sorry. And that we're looking forward to working with you on our next mission. You might be students, but you've been fighting just as hard as we have, if not harder.”

Qrow nodded along with the rest of them, looking about ready to leave.

Clover pulled out Harbinger and held it out to him before he could turn away, his facial expression giving way to a weird kind of softness rarely seen on his face. “I believe this belongs to you.”

With his eight (well, nine) children gasping behind him, Qrow slowly reached for the blade, keeping his eyes on Clover. “Where did you find this?” The question was barely necessary, considering the look on Clover’s face. It was clear how Clover had gotten it.

“It fell on me a few weeks ago,” Clover replied as if it was nothing, but everyone in the room knew that it was the complete opposite. “For the record, I have absolutely no idea how you fight with such a heavy weapon.”

Qrow took the weapon, his fingers brushing Clover’s in the process. Neither of them failed to notice the accidental contact, but it was Clover who looked more like a tomato. Qrow just smirked slightly at him as he sheathed his sword on his back.

Ruby was the first to pounce on the leader of the Ace Ops with a loud cry of “UNCLE CLOVER!” Yang followed her, and then Nora and Penny.

Buried under less than half of Qrow’s children, Clover was still able to free his head and smile at his soulmate. The look was returned, if slightly more reserved.

And that’s how Qrow (and his children) met Uncle Clover. 

Warning: don’t try this at home. Throwing a sword is never a good idea if you don’t know what you’re doing, and if you impale your soulmate… oops. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd say I was going to hell for this one, but I was already going there regardless and I'm not sorry


End file.
